Be kiasu: put couplet before
octet. Buang rhyme. Rhyme
is ruse, like when you get napkin with
button. Nice right? But useless. Also tak perlu:
your footnote, your traffic light, your crystal
scry. Love zhen de mei you instruction, like when
mat give you hammer ask you make ice-
cube. Tau takpe. But still get free hammer lah.
No need to Shakespeare Shakespeare, zuo bo
at void deck wherefore art thou xiao mei mei.
Everything must go—but don’t go courthouse.
Sonnet not there. Look under fern at
Botanic Garden. Check your napkin,
the one got button. Button need hole.
We Are Majulah is anjing tengok pantat—pandai making a loop of itself. Former morning assembly mumble-lah Singapura I love nasi lomak kepala otak kau. Psychomotor stamping he sibeh heng purple light bu yong subtitle. Globetrotting angmo lang cannot eat ice kacang because ice upside down. Can prosciutto prosecco cannot bakwa and beer. Can confirm go restroom but cannot go toilet. Can tell you what is tassel. Cannot tell you what is home.
How to show mountain? Wo bu shi
wordsmith, bu shi Wordsworth—see
Alps ni zhi dao how to write meh? Here
no practice: Bukit Timah not Mount Biang
not Mont Blanc. Describe cannot half-price
then upsize. Mei you sublime funsize,
mei you Merlion alpine edition. So left
with: money. Big camera. Every year
take picture. Every year come back collect
homework. But cannot hand in. Every year
go remedial no ending.
Write statement for what? If write must
sign. Must appear on TV say sorry sorry
ah kong. Sotong. You think if you write
you must follow other people. If they
makan potato, you swallow starch—hah
I cannot use starch? Should I cave in
to your force of habit, sight scanning
line swooning over turns and tricks?
Ok. Statement is metaphor for tuition,
for textbook, for discount sticker label
at Fairprice. Use your brain. If got formula
we sure export already lah bodoh. Kan dah
kena bodoh. Don’t ask me for footnote. When
you read English you look up. They always
tell you speak up boy, speak up. Now I speak up.